Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness, Volume 4

Welcome, welcome. Did everyone have a good weekend? Yeah? That's swell.

Not everyone did. It's not every week that our very own alma mater is the reason for so much schadenfreude, but this is one of those weeks.

Our win made some people very salty. Of course, some of the sweetest brine came from the USC fan base, where some sorority chick who calls herself "The Queen Bee," wrote about how 'classless' BC fans were at the game.

I, along with three of my Gamma Phi Beta sorority sisters, made the trek to watch our football team and take our place in the festivities.

Oh dear. This is not going to end well.

Getting a first down was equivocated to finding a unicorn.

All the while the hecklers were stepping up their assaults in the stands. The lack of sportsmanship exhibited by many of these fans was incredulous.

This isn't a grammar lesson, though. Let's get to the good stuff.

As it began to become clear the Trojans would not see victory this day in Boston, the stands became almost unbearable...Football fans understand the want to cheer for your team and get excited when your team accomplishes what the fans believed to be unthinkable, but the level that some of these fans took the unnecessarily rude level of taunting was shocking.

That was basically the extent of what the Queen Bee here had to say that was of any substance. Which is to say, nothing. The article is interspersed with "BC fans were mean!" with no elaboration given, followed by a paragraph of "Man, USC sucked, wtf?" ...Followed by "and weren't those BC fans mean? Why were we SO BAD in this game?!"

The best part of the article is the comments section where even other USC fans took her to task for the article, saying it sounded like sour grapes and wondering if she expected us to sit on our hands all game. Awesome.

But when it comes right down to it, yes, is true, of course, that USC fans are indeed the epitome of class and we are bad and should feel bad.

Somehow even better than the USC Queen Bee was the reaction on The Boneyard, UConn's main sports message board. If you've never had a chance to check out The Boneyard, it is highly recommended, particularly their conference realignment board where they sit all day typing about the progress that has been made to get UConn's invite into the Big Ten.

Our curbstomping of USC prompted a thread entitled "The day the music died," which basically served as a kind of "okay, this is truly rock bottom, things can't possibly get any worse."

Things started to get hilarious.

Something tells me Addazio is trying to win quick and get out for a better job while the fire is hot.

A solid start. Rationalizing that since Addazio brought in some grad transfers, clearly his goal is that he's trying to win right now so that he can bail. This somehow implies that if Addazio didn't bring in grad transfers and wasn't trying to win, that he wouldn't be trying to bounce. Or something.

If BCU and Rutgers are succeeding, that is one less reason for the ACC or Big 10 to add UConn. We need one or both programs to suck.

This is stupid. Rutgers doing well and drawing well brings credence to the idea that eastern expansion can be beneficial. They were supposed to be a train wreck and may actually be a middle of the pack B10 team.

See? Everything that ever happens anywhere is all seen in the context of how it affects them getting into the Big Ten.

I'd kill to have UConn suck enough to beat USC... or even Washington State.

Can someone tell me how BC got USC to play AT BC and not AT Foxboro?? I was shocked they were playing on campus...would have thought USC would have asked to play at Gilette

You mad bro?

Finally,

Odd that a BC football program that has showed extreme cowardice towards UConn was touting the brave deeds of a BC alum.

I'm just going to leave this here without comment.

Our last mention of the week comes from our old pals down in Happy Valley. It's amazing how Penn State fans keep outdoing themselves week after week looking like fools.

Now that the NCAA has lifted the sanctions on the Nittany Lions, the fans have taken that as permission to start re-deifying known child molestation cover-upper Joe Paterno. We already mentioned last week about how their fans went bananas and started chanting "Where's the statue," but they're really starting to go overboard now.

The latest to "honor" Paterno is really something special. They've come up with is something called a "Joe Out" for their game this week against (of all teams) UMass.

"We want to make an impact, as Joe would say," Stannell said. How fans do it is up to them, she said. A cardboard figure of the longtime coach, a Joe mask, a JVP hat.

God, are these lunatics serious? Just let it freaking go. Be glad your program still exists and that your alma mater will no longer be responsible for ruining the lives of children.

BONUS SCHADENFREUDE! Here's a GIF of a Vanderbilt lineman giving the UMass kicker a warm hug after missing completely shanking a potential game-tying field goal.