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Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness, Volume 3

Still fun, even when we lose.

Raise your hand if you like covering up felonies!
Raise your hand if you like covering up felonies!
Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

As we get deeper into the college sports year, there's much more out there for schadenfreude fodder. That means we don't need to spend half a post talking about UConn. Not that it isn't fun.

First up this week is Boston University. Hi BU! Nice to see you guys. Not really, you kind of smell. But hi.

Not a really good week for BU. Thursday, SB Nation College Hockey reported that sophomore defenseman Dalton MacAfee was no longer a part of the BU hockey program. It's a bit of a blow for BU although with Jack "Jesus" Eichel coming in, they could lose half their roster and probably still run the table.

The funniest thing to me came while I was looking up MacAfee. Not too many names stood out at BU this year, and MacAfee was one of those guys that makes you go "who?" I looked up his bio on and found out that as a freshman, he led all Terriers in +/-. That seemed bizarre to me, so I looked up the stats, and sure enough, there's MacAfee, the top defenseman in +/-... as a -3.

BU had one player as a +1 last year, every single other player (including goalies) was something negative. Seriously, click the link, it's fantastic.

With Jack "Jesus" Eichel coming in, BU could lose half their roster and probably still run the table.

Holy crap did BU suck last year.

So that was Schadenfreude #1 for BU. Schadenfreude #2 was another player departure, this time in goalie Sean Maguire. Another one reported by SB Nation College Hockey, Maguire is no longer enrolled at BU, and is therefore obviously not on the hockey team. Maguire (a -11 last year, by the way) was a decent goalie, splitting time with Matt O'Connor (-9), and was actually a 4th round NHL Draft pick.

And for Schadenfreude #3, US News came out with its 2015 college rankings yesterday.

You read that right -- Northeastern has caught BU in the rankings. Common sense told everyone that Northeastern was less of a waste of money than BU, and US News is finally catching on.

Moving right along to everyone's favorite nutcases -- Penn State! Really a pleasure to interact with those people.

Penn State fans freak out whenever one of us mentions recent events in Happy Valley. I mean, they really freak out. They freak out so much that the university had to send out a letter to alums telling them to Please Stop Being Crazy Truthers. Then, after the NCAA lifted Penn State's sanctions, all the students went bananas and started a giant rally, chanting things like "Where's the statue," in reference to the statue of Joe Paterno that was removed after he covered up a disgusting child sex abuse scandal at the school and resigned in disgrace. You do you, Penn State.

And finally, I lied, we do have one UConn story worth laughing about.

Someone filed a complaint with the NCAA and, well... cue the well-known Connecticut Freakout.

You may remember Mo'ne Davis, the badass girl from the Philadelphia team in the Little League World Series who became the first girl to win a LLWS game as a pitcher and, at the same time, the first girl to record a shutout in a LLWS game as a pitcher. She was pretty cool.

UConn jumps into this story because it became known down in Williamsport that Mo'ne was a big UConn basketball fan. Hoops is apparently this girl's number one sport. Well, hearing that, Geno Auriemma, UConn's coach, thought he'd give the girl a call and congratulate her on her success.

Someone filed a complaint with the NCAA and, well... cue the well-known Connecticut Freakout.

It was a minor violation -- and it was, technically, a violation -- but God forbid Geno Auriemma (who, let's be real, is far from a saint) gets cited for something. Suddenly we've got the Hartford Courant printing articles like this one, calling the team that "tattled" on its beloved UConn "slimy and pathetic." They then put up a poll asking fans of UConn basketball whether this was "just about Geno." 92% (!!) said it was an NCAA witch hunt.

You're right, UConn. The world's out to get you. What persecuted lives you lead.