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Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness, Volume 8

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Notre Dame and UConn are back!

Jonathan Daniel

Get excited, baby birds, because this week's edition of the Tears is going to have some great participants.

I want to start out with a caveat. Making fun of other teams for their attendance seems kind of cheap. We know BC has its own attendance issues, and really, so does just about everyone these days. The economy or something. Whatever. Now, having said that, let's make fun of a couple teams with attendance issues.

We kick off with the Miami Hurricanes, who, as The Mothership put it, had "several people" at their home game this week.

This is why I don't feel so bad making fun of teams for attendance, because, well, do you see that? That's Miami. DA U, baby! I get that Miami isn't the Miami of the 90s, but how can a nationally recognized team have so few people go to their game? I mean look at that sky, it's a beautiful day...what the hell is the problem?

I'm serious, someone enlighten me, because that's ridiculous.

And somehow that's not even the best attendance misery I grabbed for you guys.

When I first saw this I thought "wow that's their student section? Yikes that's pretty small. But upon further review...is that their band? Where the hell are the students? Are they in there with the band? What am I missing here? That whole side of the rink is empty...

This is particularly embarrassing given the fact that Notre Dame's arena is gorgeous and still basically brand new.

Great addition to Hockey East, Joe Bertagna. Can we trade them for Quinnipiac?

Sticking with Notre Dame for a second...Lost Letterman put out an article on "21 Reasons Notre Dame is College Football’s Most Hated Team." Just 21?

Some highlights:

the infamous "Subway Domers." Sorry, but you really have no reason to be a Notre Dame fan unless you go there, you went there, you are close with someone who went there or you grew up/live close to South Bend. Instead, countless Notre Dame fans across the country come out of the woodwork whenever the Irish are good simply because they are Catholic. Miami Heat fans are less fair-weather.

We hate to burst this bubble, but the real-life Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger isn’t the hero the movie he inspired makes him out to be. In 2011, he was indicted by the Securities and Exchange Commission for securities fraud after participating in a pump-and-dump scheme.

And my personal favorite:

Great stuff. My favorite part is how dead serious this article is.

Moving right along.

UConn (1-5): The Huskies fell to Tulane in a Battle of the Beatens. On Sunday, I printed out the conference standings and left them in the kitchen. When my wife saw them, she said, "I didn't think these two teams were in ACC." I explained to her that she was correct. She had misread it, and they are in AAC, not the ACC, or for that matter the CCA, CIAA, SAC, MSCAC, NESCAC or NASCAR.

UConn! We missed you, UConn. I was worried about this piece becoming a weekly section where I make fun of the Huskies, but it's been a couple weeks since we've talked about them.

This quote was from ESPN's weekly piece "The Bottom 10." Be careful around UConn fans if you want to talk about how they aren''t in the ACC though--you'll get a 77 page diatribe about how the Big Ten invite is in the mail.

CBS Sports has a Bottom 25 which (obviously) features the Huskies, but also a few other familiar faces--UMass, New Mexico State (lol), and Wake Forest:

Wake Forest had last weekend off, giving it time to study its 43-3 loss to Florida State two weeks ago and make sure it keeps playing that way so it can climb further in these rankings.

#TheRivalry

And finally, this isn't exactly "Tears" material, but something needed to be said.

Noooooo no no no no no. No. No. Absolutely not.

Because faux nostalgia really worked out well for the Connecticut Whale.

This is the kind of crap that drives me crazy with UConn. College hockey is not AHL hockey, which has been questionably successful in Hartford in the first place. Move the games off campus, put it in the middle of a city where parking costs more than the game tickets and is a pain in the ass to get in and out of, and take away any collegiate atmosphere whatsoever by playing Brass Bonanza instead of the school fight song.

You guys are morons and you are bad and you should feel bad.