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Pittsburgh To The ACC: Reasons To Dislike The Panthers

Welcome to the ACC, Pittsburgh. See you in 2024. Or something.

Andy Lyons

Today, the ACC welcomes the University of Pittsburgh to the ACC. Here are some reasons to dislike the Panthers:

-- About the worst thing I can say about the Pittsburgh Panthers is that they don't excel at anything, really. Men's basketball is the closest thing to a sport Pitt is good at and even then, the Panthers are good for an annual early-round exit in the NCAA Tournament sure to sink your bracket (think: Kansas, but even earlier in the tournament). To be honest, I can't think of another men's hoops program who has squandered so much over the last decade in the NCAAs.

-- Plus Boston College fans remember not too long ago when Pitt was terrible in men's basketball, which leaves Pitt with ... I don't know ... gymnastics or wrestling or something.

-- Evidence proving that, in fact, Pitt excels at nothing -- say what you want about Boston College, but at least we have ice hockey and sailing -- is the past few year's Directors Cup standings. Pitt ranked 109th in this year's Directors Cup, sandwiched between athletic powerhouses Fairleigh Dickinson and UC-Irvine. That was good for the worst performance by an ACC program by a healthy margin. Pitt fans argue that the Director's Cup isn't a good indicator of athletics department strength since the Panthers participate in three less sports (17) than can count towards the final standings (20). However, this assumes that those three other varsity programs would score points in their respective sports, which, given the track record of other Pitt programs ...

-- The school's football program trades on a claimed nine National Championships, though eight of those were won before your grandfather was born. The two National Championships in men's basketball were won before your great-grandfather was born.

-- Because all the cool kids are doing it, you like to crack Boston College attendance jokes when Pitt can't even fill its cavernous, sterile NFL stadium home to 62 percent capacity.

-- There's that one real annoying guy on Twitter that thinks calling Boston College "UConn lite" is particularly witty. The irony, of course, is that the only reason that Pittsburgh is in the Atlantic Coast Conference is because they are NOT UConn. It was a matter of turf. And you're welcome.

-- Since the school's couch-burning archrivals up and left for another conference, and your other in-state rival chooses to ignore your very existence, you are willing to claim other ACC schools as rivals who consider Pitt to be a tertiary one (at best). Or programs that Pitt will face just once every six seasons. That's just sad, really.

-- Like Syracuse fans, you will stop at nothing until the ACC Tournament is played at Madison Square Garden. Again, let's pump the brakes on that a bit. Sit down, stay awhile.

That's about it. Don't really have strong feelings about these guys one way or the other because ... Pitt.

See you in 2024, or something.