Well, the first week of football was wonderfully crazy. FCS teams beating FBS teams, Florida State putting Notre Dame on the ropes, and even a great defensive matchup for the inside track to the College Football Playoff.
But now it’s Week 2, and that means that, well, the games aren’t going to be quite as fun. Let’s get through it together.
Coastal Carolina over Kansas: I know Kansas is a basketball school and everything, but how crazy is it that a Sun Belt team is such a prohibitive favorite over a Power 5 team? I hope Coastal Carolina becomes a football juggernaut in the Sun Belt, because let’s face it, I think the sport needs that right now.
Duke over North Carolina A&T
Utah State over K-Mart Brand Notre Dame
Boise State over UTEP
Virginia over Illinois: College football? In the morning? On the east coast? Did we lose a war?
Army over Western Kentucky
Kent State over VMI
Ohio State over Oregon: I don’t care about the Fox vs. ESPN stuff that’s been permeating college football, but if I need to pick sides it’s hard not to pick the network that consistently puts on great matchups week after week. Well, until I remember that network employs Clay Travis anyway.
Auburn over Alabama State
South Carolina over @ East Carolina
Pittsburgh over @ Tennessee
Georgia Tech over Kennesaw State: A program that loses two buy games in a year really ought to start from scratch.
Wake Forest over Norfolk State
Michigan State over Youngstown State
Minnesota over the Colder Miami
Northwestern over Indiana State
Oklahoma State over Tulsa
Florida over @ USF: See, this is what I’m talking about. This is a thoroughly uninteresting game, and yet it’s on ABC. Do better, Mickey.
Tulane over Morgan State
Northern Illinois over Wyoming
Virginia Tech over Middle Tennessee
Rutgers over @ Syracuse: Ok, I’ll bite on the Rutgers hype train. Sure. What could go wrong?
Ohio over Duquesne
Notre Dame over Toledo: Notre Dame has such an unnecessary place of privilege in college football, and all you need to see to prove that is that after the Irish nearly blew a game they should have had no problems with against a good but not great Florida State team, they went up a spot in the rankings. Rankings are stupid and everything, but they get every benefit of the doubt that can be afforded. Gotta make sure you get that football watching Peacock crowd. No, but actually, the Notre Dame game is on Peacock this week. Yes, the streaming service.
Purdue over UConn: Delete your program, UConn. But, like, unironically. Like we’re actually worried about you.
Central Michigan over Robert Morris
Georgia over UAB: This is actually a better matchup than I thought, which means Georgia should only win by like 30.
Texas A&M over Colorado
Cincinnati over Murray State
Penn State over Ball State
Georgia Southern over @ Florida Atlantic
Boston College over @ UMass: I don’t know in what world a singular UMass football game is worth a Pay-Per-View price of $19.99, but it’s definitely not this one.
Nebraska over Buffalo
Cal over TCU
Akron over Temple
Air Force over @ Navy
Alabama over Mercer: Arguable if Mercer could put up a better fight than Miami.
Bowling Green over South Alabama
Iowa over @ Iowa State: This, my friends, is going to be the most relevant thing that has ever happened in Iowa in a non-election year. Dare I say it’s must-see TV.
Clemson over South Carolina State
West Virginia over LIU
Western michigan over Illinois State
Charlotte over Gardner-Webb
UTSA over Lamar
Washington State over Portland State
Marshall over North Carolina Central
Houston over @ Rice
UCF over Bethune-Cookman
Oklahoma over Western Carolina: I wonder which of those games I straight up ignored is going to be the most tolerable to watch.
Texas over @ Arkansas: I had to double check that this was, in fact, a Power 5 matchup, Woo, pig.
Wisconsin over Eastern Michigan
Miami over Appalachian State
NC State over Mississippi State
Louisiana tech over SE Louisiana
SMU over North Texas
Old Dominion over Hampton
Southern Miss over Let’s Face It You Don’t Care About This Game
Louisville over Eastern kentucky
Liberty over @ Troy
Baylor over Texas Southern
Kansas State over Oh My God How Many More of These Are There
Texas Tech over Stephen F Austin
Memphis over Arkansas State
Louisiana over Nicholls
New Mexico over Other New Mexico
Ole Miss over Austin Peay
North Carolina over Georgia State: Really hoping there’s going to be a game worth caring about somewhere in here.
Kentucky over Missouri: Still looking.
Indiana over Idaho
Maryland over Howard
LSU over McNeese
Florida State over Jacksonville State: FSU is by no means a sympathetic team to root for, but by golly that kicking miscue robbed us of a wonderful story, and I hope for nothing but success on all game dates that aren’t November 20.
Michigan over Washington
Vanderbilt and Colorado State are playing each other, and I honestly don’t know who to pick. They are both terrible.
San Diego State over @ Arizona
Fresno State over Cal Poly
Utah over @ BYU
USC over Stanford: I’m happy that Stanford may not have the best year this year.Something has to keep that university grounded.
Arizona State over UNLV
Nevada over Idaho State
Oregon State over Hawai’i