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Tears of Unfathomable Sadness, Volume XXIII: Look, the UConn stuff is REALLY funny

Everyone’s favorite punching bag had quite a week

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: SEP 04 Holy Cross at UConn Photo by Williams Paul/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Hello there, everybody. It’s been a white since we trotted out a new installment of the Tears. Over four years, in fact! Far too long.

Back in Volume 22, we talked about how very funny (alarming?) it was that UConn was scheduling a $1.2 million nuking against Clemson. At the time, UConn wasn’t exactly rolling in cash with the AAC’s paltry $2 million per school TV contract, but since then, the balance sheets have only gotten worse. UConn bailed from the AAC to go independent in football and signed a $500,000-ish per year contract with CBS Sports, so that beatdown money is even more crucial toward keeping the program afloat... or at least to keep them from burning through too much of my tax dollars, anyway.

Flash forward to modern day where UConn’s $1.2 million chicken is coming home to roost. The Huskies head to Death Valley in November, and it’s become pretty clear that that lopsided matchup might honestly be safety issue.


As someone currently on vacation in Austria, I can confirm that there is indeed a German word for this situation.

It’s a good thing Clemson’s willing to drop some coin on this for some reason. UConn just burned through nearly its entire TV contract haul in the desperate hope of getting at least one win on the year. Incredibly, though, this was just the tip of the schadenfreude iceberg.

That is ROUGH. What’s even better is that that guy is now the acting head coach of the UConn Huskies.

How we got there is part of the fun. There was a pretty outstanding couple days down on I-84 that deserved a little Yakety Sax in the background. First, 24 hours after losing to the Crusaders, Head Coach Randy Edsall announced on his own that he would be retiring at the end of the season.

It all had a very “please don’t fire me, my entire contract is based on weird incentives” vibe to it. No word yet on whether he told his players in person first, but he sure didn’t seem to have had a chat about it with the university. Athletic director David Benedict put out a statement in response to Edsall’s announcement saying:

As is the case with all our teams, I am constantly evaluating the football program and will continue to make decisions that I feel are in the best interest of our student-athletes.

And indeed, just 24 hours later, UConn told Edsall “Mmmm nope, you’re leaving now.”

The most exciting thing to watch down at PAWS ARF this year is whether or not the Huskies will be able to find a single win.

So now UConn starts its search for a coaching candidate, and you would think our dive into Husky Hilarity would end here... but we’re not quite done.

Who indeed... who indeed:

Steve Addazio


Addazio was fired from Boston College and somehow failed up into the Colorado State head coaching job. He’s 1-4 there so far after playing four games last year and opening this season with a big loss to FCS South Dakota State. Addazio could get fired and might be a decent option for the Huskies, though it would certainly not be an ideal hire given his coaching style and some of the accusations that have arisen about his demeanor. But football coaches aren’t hired to be good people, not even college ones, unfortunately. If he comes at the right price, like say after he’s been fired with a nice severance package, it could work out.

Before BC, Addazio was head coach at Temple, and before that, he was an offensive assistant with stops at Florida, Notre Dame, Indiana, and Syracuse. Addazio is a Connecticut native who played at CCSU and was the former head coach at Cheshire High.

Sweet Jesus, I think we would have to retire this post series if that were to happen.

It was a bit less fun kicking the Huskies when they were down while BC football was a dumpster fire. Still fun, don’t get me wrong — but definitely less fun. The Eagles stomped UConn 30-0 even in a year that they went 2-6 in the ACC, but here we are half a decade later with BC on a clear upswing and UConn somehow even worse than they were back then. It’s pretty impressive, really, just how long things have been a mess down in Storrs.