Playa Haters Ball 2018: Louisville Cardinals Edition

Oh it feels so good to welcome the Louisville Cardinals to this edition of the Playa Haters Ball. You are our guest of honor this season, and believe me we want to take extra special care of you after the trauma that AJ Dillon inflicted you last season. Seriously, we are just checking did that defender get up after that stiff arm, or did he just say “Nah dude, I’m done” while hanging up his cleats? Wouldn’t blame him if he did. The last time I saw tackling that bad...nevermind...I have never seen tackling that bad. That game was proof that you need more than Lamar Jackson, and literally no defense to win a game. Also while we are at it, the Boston College faithful would like to thank you for allowing us to turn our season around. It was certainly an improvement from watching Jackson do wind sprints up and down the field at Alumni Stadium.

It’s going to be a big change for the Cardinals this season, without human circle button Lamar Jackson in the NFL. I kind of feel bad for the guy, first he plummeted down the NFL Draft list, now he gets to be stuck on the depth chart behind Bert from Sesame Street, I mean Joe Flacco. It’s too bad, Jackson would be a great quarterback, but now he gets to hold a clipboard while John Harbaugh refuses to move on from a quarterback that goes 11-25 for 125 every game. Hopefully Jackson doesn’t follow the Teddy Bridgewater trajectory of doing really well, getting an unfortunate injury and then being forced to fight for a job with the New York Jets. Yuck.

Louisville has been in the news a lot in the past, and for great reasons too. First, you had Rick Pitino doing Rick Pitino-esque things, which came to the surprise of no one. Then most recently you had Papa John forced to resign due to allegedly saying racial slurs on a conference call. Honestly getting rid of Papa John is the best thing to happen to your program since Bobby Petrino got in a motorcycle accident and was fired from Arkansas. Also I’ll keep the politics out of the blog, but thanks guys.

In conclusion Louisville, finally beating you in ACC play was a lot of fun. Let’s do that again, because we hate you.