clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

BCI Playa Haters Ball: Temple Edition

Let’s strap in boys and girls.

Connecticut v Temple
Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images

Hello guys, girls, and welcome Owls, and Owlettes, we are back for today’s edition of Playa Haters Ball. Now, I know what you are going to say, “Why is this so late, Temple week was last week!”, but I thought it would be appropriate to start their week late to honor their program, one that didn’t really do anything until about ten years ago. And yeah yeah, I know what you are going to say “But we went to the inaugural Sugar Bowl in 1932 with Pop Warner!” Good for you, glad to see there was about 80 years between relevancy for your program. I’d be careful about bragging about being last being good when FDR won his first term in office.

But anyways, let’s get this trainwreck rolling....

Located in the beautiful city of Philadelphia, Temple is right in the heart of a beautiful cultured city with sports fans known for throwing batteries at Santa Claus, eating horse poop when their NFL team wins a Super Bowl and intentionally throwing up on an 11 year old girl. Yeah, it’s a great city, where the culinary delight is steak covered in cheez wiz, and their favorite beer Yuengling a dull flavorless, boring beer.

First of all, let’s look at last year. This team is getting a lot of love, but remember how it began last year. THEY LOST TO THE UNIVERSITY OF FREAKING CONNECTICUT. The same team that BC took to the woodshed at Fenway Park in November, somehow beat the wonderkinds of the AAC. After you lose to Yukon you should be forcefully relegated to the Sun Belt, or at least be forced to wear a uniform patch featuring the score of this game and Nelson Muntz saying HAHA at you. Honestly, how do you get over this? Temple finished the season 7-6 and won a bowl named after a type of drink, but the record book should have an asterisk next to it with “Lost to UConn” as a label. They also barely beat Villanova and UMass, but losing to Yukon is wayyyyyyyyyyyy worse.

And let’s look at famous alumni, of course we need to talk about Bill Cos [JOKES REDACTED BY EDITOR]. And that is all I have to say about that.

What a rich history this program has. Bruce Arians, the former NFL coach, could only get Temple to 6-5 during his time there, and he went on to coach in the pros. Then everything got bad, they were thrown out of the Big East due horrible attendance and lack luster facilities spearheaded by our very own Boston College. However, shortly after they struck gold with Al Golden, who got the Owls to 9-4 in the MAC Conference before he high tailed it out of town to fall on his face at the University of Miami.

Geoff Collins is the new head coach, trying to bring the same excitement Matt Rhule brought to Temple. Speaking of Rhule, how could you lose your head coach to Baylor? Look there are bad programs, and there are programs like Baylor. He literally left your school to go coach at program that is about to get blasted back to the Stone Age due to sanctions. But hey, stay mad at Steve Addazio.

And speaking of Daz, I was reading a Temple Blog today that said that he and other Owl fans still hate him for calling Temple his “dream school” and fleeing to Boston College. Can anyone truly say Temple is a Dream School with a straight face? And who are these people who believe these coaches? Hey Temple fans, I know a Nigerian Prince that has millions in cash all he needs is your social security and checking numbers.

In conclusion, Temple, you may be getting a lot of love from some of the preseason pundits, but we see you. And while you are still butthurt about Daz, and losing to UConn, BC is ready, because we hate you.