Boston College didn’t make the men’s hockey tournament this year, which is sad. But with the tournament starting today, we wanted to highlight the teams that DID make the tournament... by judging their mascots. Here are our official rankings.
1. Goldy the Gopher (Minnesota)
Some of Goldy’s antics freak me out a little (HIS HEAD SPIN), but Goldy is fun and he actually looks like what he’s supposed to look like. His Halloween costumes alone are enough to win him the #1 spot because that is true mascot dedication.
2. Rhett the Terrier (Boston University).
Objectively, Rhett is a pretty good mascot. His name is stupid (Rhett because BU’s color is scarlet and Rhett Butler loves Scarlett O’Hara), but he’s a pretty solid mascot otherwise. He looks like an actual Boston terrier, he looks like BU’s logo, and he’s intimidating without being too frightening to kids (which is impressive since he’s based on a decidedly NOT intimidating dog).
3. Air Force Falcon.
So he doesn’t really look much like a falcon, but he is clearly a bird and he is in the school’s colors. The bright blue and yellow go together on a mascot better than UMass Lowell’s bright blue and red do, so the falcon doesn’t come off as garish as Rowdy does. He’s also just a very cute mascot.
4. Rowdy the Riverhawk (UMass Lowell).
Rowdy is a decent mascot. He loses points for being a aggressively colorful and not even close to the colors of a real riverhawk, but he’s appropriately intimidating without being too scary to kids. He’s a mascot that reads well from the ice even though he’s a little weird up close.
5. Blizzard T. Husky (Michigan Tech).
Blizzard is pretty cute and just creepy enough to be slightly intimidating. I also like his name. But let’s be honest, he looks like a husky mated with a raccoon.
6. Champ the Bulldog (Minnesota Duluth)
Bulldogs are a hard breed to turn into a mascot costume because of all the wrinkles. The Minnesota Duluth logo is terrific, but it loses a little in its transition into a costume. Champ looks decent and I think it would be tough to make him look much better, but he’s in the middle of the pack here.
7. Buster Bronco (Western Michigan)
So Buster Bronco a) looks high and b) looks a little like a horse mixed with Alf instead of just a horse, but I don’t hate him. He looks like he could be a mascot with some fun antics.
8. Brutus Buckeye (Ohio State)
He’s... a nut. Which is silly. But it’s a fine costume for what it is an he’s up against some pretty bad mascots.
9. Touchdown / The Big Red Bear (Cornell).
Touchdown loses points for having a football specific name. He also just looks a little rough - there appears to also be a fluffier Touchdown, but neither costume is particularly impressive. He’s not really cute OR intimidating, just kind of meh. But at least he is clearly a bear.
10. The Providence Friar.
The Friar is truly horrifying. 10/10 would scare you to death if he popped up behind you.
11. The Notre Dame Leprechaun.
The leprechaun is just a human wearing green, leprechaun-ish clothes. I also cannot easily find any photos of him at hockey games, which does not play in his favor. We’re certainly biased against Notre Dame, but human mascots are far inferior to costumed mascots. The official breakdown is real dog mascots > costumed mascots > human mascots > real wild animal mascots (#FreeThem).
12. Penn State Nittany Lion.
Things this is not: a lion, a good mascot. Things this is: haunting my nightmares, worse than my enemy Bananas the “Black Bear”.
(Union and North Dakota do not appear to have costumed mascots. If they do an I just couldn’t find pictures please send me photos of it. I’m not ranking Denver Boone because he’s unofficial and has been at the center of controversy over his association with Daniel Boone, who was active in the displacement of Native Americans. I’m not ranking John Harvard because as far as I can tell he is basically never used, and definitely isn’t used in hockey.)
I’m sure people will have opinions, so leave your thoughts in the comments!