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The Definitive BCI Ranking of Finnish Eurovision Songs

It’s my blog and I’ll blog what I want to

ESC - Around Eurovision Song Contest 2007 Photo by Johannes Simon/Getty Images

Does this have anything to do with Boston College? No, but we’re going all out on Finnish Independence Day Finland content in honor of BC’s 3 Finnish MIH players / the 100th anniversary of Finnish independence. Also, I will take any opportunity to talk about Eurovision (a yearly contest in which countries in Europe plus a few others compete to crown the best musical act - each country votes for the other countries and it is very dramatic). The best of Eurovision is trashy and tacky and wonderful. The rankings were assigned based on: how actually enjoyable the song is and how weird/trashy the song is, with bonus points added for a) being sung in Finnish and b) final rankings in the actual Eurovision competition. Entertainment value > quality here, folks.

So spend your Wednesday / Finnish Independence Day listening to a soundtrack of Finnish music and wondering why you opened this article!

51. Fri? by Beat (1990) Finished in last place. Title translates to Free. This song is last on the list because it isn’t a great song but it also isn’t quite weird enough to make up for that. This was also the first Finnish Eurovision song to be sung in Swedish during the competition.

50. A Little Bit by Nina Åström (2000) Finished 18th overall. This is a meh song and it was picked to represent Finland over this much more dramatic song, which actually won the televote to pick the competitor. So negative points for knocking out a song that has the true spirit of Eurovision.

49. Why by Geir Rönning (2005) Did not qualify for the finals. This song is about a school hostage crisis that occurred in Russia, which is super depressing and not the best topic for Eurovision, which is usually fun and goofy. Also, the singer is not even Russian which makes it feel a little like he’s trying to capitalize on their tragedy (he’s not Finnish either - he’s Norwegian... and he has also competed on Swedish Idol...)

48. Da Da Dam by Paradise Oskar (2011) Finished 20th overall and 3rd in it’s semifinal round. I vehemently dislike this song, which sounds like something that guy on your floor freshman year who has a guitar and is “a musician” but will eventually end up working in business would sing. But it performed well in its semi-final round, which got it an extra half-point here.

47. Keep Me Warm by Carita (1974) Finished 13th overall. This song is one long euphemism but that doesn’t make it a fun song.

46. Old Man Fiddle by Pihasoittajat (1975) Finished 7th overall. This song was inspired by country music so that gives it weirdness points, but it isn’t great or fun.

45. När jag blundar by Pernilla Karlsson (2012) Failed to qualify for the finals. Title translates to When I Close My Eyes. This is not a bad song, but it is in Swedish which keeps it from ranking higher here.

44. Something Better by Softengine (2014) Finished 11th overall. This song is generic and mediocre, but it is Finland’s best result since winning in 2006 and it came in 3rd in its semifinal round.

43. Blackbird by Norma John (2017) Did not qualify for the finals. This is a fine song. But neither good nor weird enough to place high on this list.

42. Never the End by Kari Kuivalainen (1986) Finished 15th overall. Not a great song but points for the tacky 1980s mullet!

41. Nuku pommiin by Kojo (1982) Finished in last place. Title translates to Sleep to the Bomb (which means to oversleep). This is Finland’s most recent song to receive 0 points. The song is about how sleeping through a nuclear bomb is the best way to avoid it, which doesn’t really make sense?

40. Takes 2 To Tango by Jari Sillanpää (2004) Failed to qualify for the finals. Points for weirdness.

39. Aurinko laskee länteen by Viktor Klimenko (1965) Finished in last place. Title translates to The Sun Sets in the West. This was Finland’s second 0 point song in 3 years.

38. Muistojeni laulu by Laila Halme (1963) Finished last and was the first Finnish song to receive no points at Eurovision. Title translates to The Song of My Memories.

37. Aava by Edea (1998) Finished 15th overall. Title translates to Open Landscape. This song has only 6 different words in it, repeated over and over. Which makes it boring but weird.

36. Addicted to You - Laura (2002) Finished 20th overall. Contestants voted this the best song of the 2002 competition.

35. Reggae OK by Riki Sorsa (1981) Finished 15th overall. This is a “reggae” song by a Finnish white dude in Finnish. 100% weirdness points for this one. But also some “this is definitely cultural appropriation dude” minus points.

34. Varjoon - suojaan by Fredi (1967) Finished in 12th place. Title translates to To Shadow - To Safety. It is about wanting to escape and become just another face in the crowd #emo.

33. Aina mun pitää by Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät (2015) Failed to qualify for the finals. Title translates to I Always Have To. This is the most recent song sung in Finnish at Eurovision. It is the shortest Eurovision song as of 2017. Pertti Kurikan Nimipäivät, which disbanded last year, was formed in 2009 and was made up of adults with developmental disabilities. The band was the subject of a 2012 documentary in Finland. Points for a cool backstory and for being a recent song actually in Finnish instead of English.

32. Tom Tom Tom by Marion Rung (1973) Finished in 6th place. This was the first Finnish Eurovision song not sung in Finnish, which lost it points.

31. Niin kaunis on taivas by Jasmine (1996) Finished in last place in the finals. Title translates to So Beautiful Is the Sky. This was voted the worst of Finland’s Eurovision songs in 2010, which I don’t understand because it isn’t terrible?

30. Huilumies by Vesa-Matti Loiri (1980) Finished in last place. Title translates to A Flute Man. This song is about a flute man who cannot express his feelings in words but CAN express his feelings by playing his flute.

29. Tule luo by Katri Helena (1993) Finished 17th overall. Title translates to Come to Me. Apparently this song uses no Ö or Ä sounds? So that’s a fun fact.

28. Nauravat silmät muistetaan by Boulevard (1988) Finished 20th overall. Title translates to Laughing Eyes Are Remembered. Boulevard was a back-up singer in Eurovision the year before competing with this song.

27. Sata salamaa by Vicky Rosti & Boulevard (1987) Finished 15th overall. Title translates to One Hundred Lightnings. An English version of this song was recorded called Fire Night.

26. Laiskotellen by Lasse Mårtenson (1964) Finished 7th overall. Title translates to Idling. This song is basically the not-meant-as-a-joke Finnish pop version of Lazy Sunday by The Lonely Island.

25. Missä miehet ratsastaa by Teräsbetoni (2008) Finished 22nd overall. Title translates to Where the Men Ride. This song only places this high because it is weird and trash and that is the spirit of Eurovision.

24. Lose Control by Waldo’s People (2009) Finished last in the finals. This is a trashy dance song thats music video is about the band being homeless and one of them falling down and nobody helping him until the end?

23. Yamma Yamma by Pave Maijanen (1992) Finished in last place. In addition to having a weird nonsense name, this song is weirdly about why people should listen to “valve radio”?

22. Anna rakkaudelle tilaisuus by Seija Simola (1978) Finished 18th overall. Title translates to Give Love a Chance. This song is pretty normal, but gets points for being a decent 1970s ballad.

21. Hengaillaan by Kirka (1984) Finished 9th overall. Title translates to Let’s Hang Around. According to Wikipedia, this song is about meeting a “fellow traveler” and suggesting that both he and the singer stay the night at the train station instead of finding somewhere to stay as they wait for their morning train, which they then miss. So that makes it sound like it is about a serial killer or just a major creep! Weirdness points galore!

20. Lapponia by Monica Aspelund (1977) Finished 10th overall. I believe this song is about Lapland? It was a big hit in both Finland and Sweden. Monica’s sister also participated in Eurovision - her song is at #4 on this list.

19. Eläköön elämä by Sonja Lumme (1985) Finished 9th overall. Title translates to Long Live Life. The song is apparently about a woman spending the night with a “friend” in the major weirdness points for that!

18. Tie uuteen päivään by Markku Aro & Koivistolaiset (1971) Finished 8th overall. Title translates to Way to a New Day. This sounds like a song that would play over the end credits of a cheesy 1970s movie.

17. La Dolce Vita by Anneli Saaristo (1989) Finished 7th overall. Title translates to The Good Life (from Italian). This song is sung in Finnish, except for the Italian title.

16. Marry Me by Krista Siegfrids (2013) Finished 24th overall. All of the trashy points for this one.

15. Hullu yö by Kaija Kärkinen (1991) Finished 20th overall. Title translates to A Crazy Night. This song is about a one night stand, which is not what you would expect listening to it because it is like Celine Dion mixed with a power ballad in Finnish.

14. Katson sineen taivaan by Katri Helena (1979) Finished 14th overall. Title translates to I'm Looking at the Blue Sky. Despite a mediocre Eurovision finish, this song became a hit in Finland.

13. Kun kello käy by Kristina Hautala (1968) Came in last place. Title translates to When Time Goes By. The only country that voted for this song during the competition was Norway.

12. Työlki ellää by Kuunkuiskaajat (2010) Failed to qualify for the finals. Title translates to One Can Work for a Living, Too. This is a weird little ditty that sounds like it should be a Eurovision song from the 1960s, not from 2010. So obviously that means it gets lots of fun-weird points.

11. Bye Bye Baby by Catcat (1994) Placed 22nd overall. This song performed poorly at Eurovision, but how can you not love a dramatic half-Finnish/half-English dance song by a band called Catcat???

10. Valoa ikkunassa by Laila Kinnunen (1961) Placed 10th overall. Title translates to Light in the Window. 1961 was Finland’s first year competing in Eurovision, so this was Finland’s very first Eurovision song!

9. Sing It Away by Sandhja (2016) Failed to qualify for the finals, despite being a fun (yet generic) dance song.

8. Pump Pump by Fredi & Ystävät (1976) Placed 11th overall. This song was originally recorded in Finnish, but was sung in English for Eurovision, which lost it points here. Eurovision is way less fun if everybody sings in English!

7. Muistathan by Päivi Paunu & Kim Floor (1972) Placed 12th overall. Title translates to Do You Remember. Being sung in Finnish helped bump this song up a spot in the ratings even though it is way less weird than Pump Pump.

6. Kuin silloin ennen by Jarkko & Laura (1969) Placed 12th overall. Title translates to Like in Those Times. This is a fun little duet that is immediately recognizable as being from the late 1960’s.

5. Leave Me Alone by Hanna Pakarinen (2007) Placed 17th overall. As someone who was an emo tween girl, I legitimately love this song because it is basically European Avril Lavigne.

4. Fantasiaa by Ami Aspelund (1983) Placed 11th overall. Title translates to Fantasy. This song is about a woman watching a man and his dog in a park and daydreaming about the man, so that’s not creepy at all.

3. Playboy by Ann Christine (1966) Placed 10th overall. Songs that are entirely in one language except for a single word or phrase are the best, which gave Playboy a leg up in the rankings.

2. Hard Rock Hallelujah by Lordi (2006) Placed 1st overall. Finns broke a world record for karaoke singing in 2009, when about 80,000 people sang this song together in Helsinki. As Finland’s only Eurovision winner, the weird metal hit that is Hard Rock Hallelujah had to place in the top 3.

1. Tipi-tii by Marion Rung (1962) Placed 7th overall. Title translates to Chirpy chirp. This song is fun and dumb and weird and I love it.

Enjoy! Happy Finland Day!