GUEST POST: Thanks to bcfan131 for the submission!
Last month, the University of North Dakota held a month long contest where anyone in the general public could anonymously submit their own nickname. As you can imagine, this went incredibly well. The school later released a final list of 200+ pages of nicknames to be under final consideration, while also releasing a 600+ page list of nicknames to not be considered (which surprisingly consisted of over 100 pages of "Fighting Sioux" submissions). I've taken the time to browse through the list of names that didn't make the final cut and found a bunch of submissions that I think the school should reconsider. All of the nicknames and rationales submitted come directly from the UND website.
In alphabetical order:
Nickname: 2% terrorists
Rationale: These terrorists forcing this thing amount to 2%
I'd love to see the math equation used to figure this out.
Rationale: The letters s, i, o, u, and x have deleted from the alphabet because we are not the sioux.
That is some next level stuff right there. I have no idea how this one didn't make the final list.
Nickname: Administrative Morons
Rationale: Because Pres Kelley screwed this up so bad, and AG Stenjhem was even worse. I sent two children to UND and paid tuition . Embarrassed>
I can't argue with that logic. I'd be embarrassed too if I sent my kids to UND and had to pay tuition.>
Nickname: Admiral Ackbar
Rationale: (None listed)
It's a trap!
Nickname: Anal Seepers
Rationale: Anal seepage is a staple of campus life at UND
The best part about this list is it has taught me a lot of facts about the state of North Dakota and UND that I wouldn't have otherwise known. This is one of them.
Nickname: Christopher Columbus
Rationale: he also hates Indians and takes their shit, very fitting
And he has his own national holiday! Could you imagine the UND Christopher Columbus playing their home opener on Columbus Day every year? Seriously UND, you can have that marketing idea for free.
Nickname: Fire Kelley
Rationale: Suck my ass Kelley
Submissions like really make me think of what a great idea it was to hold an open contest like this.
Rationale: it is very unique to north dakota
This is true. I can't think of any other relevant hockey programs with this nickname. It would be original.
Rationale: Because they totes adorbs
Also, who would want to check a hockey player wearing a shirt with a totes adorbs kitty on it? Not me.
Rationale: We have a lot of weed
Somebody should tell this person that this nickname contest was not for the University of Vermont.
Nickname: North Koreans
Rationale: The North Dakota North Koreans would strike fear in the hearts of all who hate our Dear Leader
North Dakota is Best Dakota! I hope this doesn't cause their entire women's soccer team to get struck by lightning before the NCAA Tournament, though.
Nickname: PC Panderers
Rationale: You pandered to political correctness. Granted, you're not unique in that, but you're blatant extremists, deserving historical recognition.
This also isn't a Providence College naming contest! This is not the only person thinking that apparently, as "PC Police" and "PC SELL OUTS" were also submitted.
Nickname: ‘Prince Symbol'
Und like price got its name stolen due to corporate greed, the parallels are profound. And the mascot can be a white dude with Jerry curls.
I guess news hasn't gotten to North Dakota that he's no longer "the artist formerly known as Prince." Plus, isn't he a Minnesotan? I can see why the University didn't choose this one.
Nickname: Poopy Pants
Rationale: sometimes you poop your pants!
Case and point: UND's hockey team in the NCAA tournament over the last decade.
Nickname: Rappin' Kanyes
Rationale: (None listed)
Imma let myself finish, but this is probably the best nickname submission of all time. I'd buy a hockey jersey with Kanye's head on it. And I'm sure he'd be on board.
Rationale: What better way to represent our state than to name it after its inhabitants?
This would certainly be better than a few people who submitted the following...
Rationales: For redskin potatoe. To represent our farming history. It is North Dakota's #1 industry. It will go well with the potatoe bowl in the fall.
Oh well in that case, I guess this name is totally acceptable.
Nickname: Rick James
Rationale: because Rick James. Duh.
What did the five fingers say to the face?
Nickname: Silver Gophers
Rationale: Reminds all your stupid hillbilly fans of there position in the hockey world
You hear that UND, you are second best to a team that won the western equivalent of Atlantic Hockey this year. Ouch. Also, [sic]
Rationale: Because they do.
This looks like the work of one of our fellow Beanpot schools. Saying "SUCKS" after a school chants its name is brilliant and clever, after all.
Nickname: Tom Hanks
Rationale: This would get media attention and have people care about UND on a national scale.
I'm sure everyone would instantly become a North Dakota Tom Hanks fan. Also, this was not the only submissionreferencing Tom Hanks, including Fighting Hanks (rationale: Tom Hanks is awesome) , and 2 submissions for Fightin' Tom Hanks.
Rationale: Capitalizes on popularity of underwear as sported by Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and other superheroes.
Solid point! Plus, it has UND already in it. This has some nice script logo potential.
Nickname: Zombies from UNDead
Rationale: Zombies are really "IN" right now. The mascot/nickname would be EPIC! The ead could stand for Enlightened And Disciplined!
They must have just gotten the first season of The Walking Dead in North Dakota. The double meaning is cool, too.
What do you think? Should the UND Nickname Committee reconsider? Did I not mention one of your favorites? Let us know in the comments below!