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Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness, Volume 15

A couple good old-fashioned losses

Jim Rogash/Getty Images

I usually try to avoid making fun of teams just because they lost. Everyone loses sometimes; why should I bother taking enjoyment in someone losing?

Because it brightens my day, that's why.

There were some obvious ones: BU (finally) lost a game and got shut out, which means (obviously) Jesus ChriEichel was held off the scoresheet. Notre Dame football lost 4 in a row and 5 of 6, going from talk of being in the college football playoff to being the butt of everyone's jokes. Syracuse lost—to us, yay!—and TNIAAM agonized through a post about how horrifically terrible their offense was, which was pretty enjoyable.

But we'll kick things off with Minnesota hockey, the preseason #1 that everyone expected to be a juggernaut this season. They kicked off their season pretty much as expected, sprinting out of the blocks to 7-1-0. But they've had a rough go of it of late, winning only 1 of their last 4 games including an exhibition against the USA U18 team.

We'll ignore the one game they won.

The humor doesn't so much come from the fact that they've struggled, but from the fact that their most recent defeat came at the hands of...Northeastern??

Frankly, that seems impossible. As good as Minnesota started their season, that's how badly Northeastern started, going 0-8-1 in their first 9 games. They were historically bad, with the worst start in program history for a program that is historically terrible.

Okay Eastern Bias, that's pretty funny too.

But anyway, I'm sure Minnesota fans took their loss well.

He mad.

We move on now to some less lovable Huskies, and a classic case of how schadenfreude doesn't have to be complicated, nor does it have to have any existential meaning to it, it just has bring you joy.

Let's set the scene. UConn hoops is playing its as-of-yet biggest game of the season against #7 Texas, at home, in front of a wild crowd. After staging a nice little comeback, UConn is winning! The Huskies crowd is going bananas. Look how excited everyone is!

Ugh, doesn't it just make you sick? Someone needs to shut those little anklebiters up.

Up by 2, Texas has the ball with just 4.4 seconds left. What could possibly go wrong?

What happens next is a truly great moment full of sweet, sweet Husky Tears of Sadness.

Oh, that is a beautiful sight. Everyone in the student section has just about the exact same reaction full of sadness and misery. It's just glorious.

This is why we do what we do...enjoying the suffering of our opponents while it has nothing whatsoever to do with us. What a wonderful world we live in.