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Old Big East Family Portrait T-Shirt Is The Stuff Of Nightmares

This is a mess.

So this old Big East family portrait t-shirt made the rounds on Twitter this afternoon ...

Where to begin? I suppose we can go left to right here.

-- Before St. John's was the Red Storm, they were the RedMen. The St. John's mascot in this family portrait is just a white guy dressed up like a Native American. Feathers, tomahawk, war paint and all. Umm ...

-- The Providence Friar looks like the Grim Reaper which is oddly appropriate and seems to explain PC's once-every-decade NCAA Tournament clip.

-- The anthropomorphized Georgetown Hoya bulldog will haunt you in your dreams. The Villanova Wildcats right arm is lost behind the Friar and though you can't tell from this photo, is probably doing something NSFW to the bulldog.

-- Syracuse is ... just some rando white guy? TF? The artist must have simply taken the Orangemen's nickname quite literally and just drew a 7-foot ginger. If you threw a Celtics jersey on him, this would be Brian Scalabrine.

-- Anthropomorphized Pitt Panther is consoling anthropomorized UConn Husky. Possibly related, Pitt Panther can see into the future and knows that the University of Pittsburgh, not UCONN, will be receiving the ACC's 14th and final invite.

-- The Seton Hall Pirate is just a white dude dressed up to look like the (now old) Pittsburgh Pirate logo.

And finally we come to ... the Boston College Eagle.

-- Oh my god. Those shorts. That head. Those Andre Williams thighs. Just ... why?! The only thing creepier than the Boston College Eagle basketball mascot ... thing is ESPNU's Boston College logo.

The next time one of your buddies argues that the old band should really get back together, just show them this t-shirt. Conversation over.