In what will certainly go down as the biggest sham in the history of democracy, The Boston A-List has named BU's Rhett "Best 2012 School Mascot."
There is just so much to take issue with here. Let's start with the fact that clearly this was not a legitimate contest, because apparently the award was based on a city-wide vote. Well of course BU is going to win something like that. They are enormous, and when you think about it, the roughly ten million BU grads working as parking attendants around this city probably have easy access to the internet these days.
Even aside from the faulty polling, a fact that no one denies, let's take an objective look at the comparison between BU's Rhett and BC's Baldwin:
- Eagle, so he's awesome.
- Can pick up ugly rat dogs and feed them to his young.
- Can wait on the branch of a tree while an angry rat dog tires itself out yipping uncontrollably until its owner comes out and throws it in its kennel.
- Scores more goals than Rhett during intermissions of the Beanpot.
- Top of the food chain.
- Symbol of Amurrica. You don't hate Amurrica, do you?
- Ugly rat looking thing that no one has ever liked, ever.
- Annoying yipping noise known to cause otherwise healthy children to go deaf
- Has been known to preside over heartless teddy bear massacres. As a dog, clearly it's in his nature.
- Easily punted, but unfortunately that's a useless trait for the mascot of a school with no football team.
- Seriously, really ugly.
- Does not have a Beanpot.
This is science, people. The fact that such a sham was allowed to take place is a travesty. We need to do better as a society to prevent such injustices from happening in the future.