Looking at Trends In Frank Spaziani's Post Game Press Conferences

Nothing makes me happier than trolling Frank Spaziani, so here it goes. Today's press conference. It's his usual pile of stock quotes "they played better today" "we didn't do x y and z". I wanted to see if Spaziani said basically the same thing for this entire season. To evaluate this, I went through some of Spaz's conferences and looked for trends. In the end it wasn't too hard to find.

Overall

Today: "That was a tough loss. Congratulations to Virginia Tech. They made some plays to win the game. We had our chances. We had chances and weren't able to convert them. We came up on the short end."

"We had some plays that we didn't make. They threw a pass down the boundary, we were in position and they make the catch. They wind up kicking the field goal. In the course of a game there are a lot of plays that can turn the game around."

Against Notre Dame: "Congratulations to Notre Dame. They've got an excellent football team. They are well coached. Our kids played hard. They fought until the end. We just didn't make enough plays against a good football team. We had a couple of opportunities and weren't able to convert."

Against Florida State: "They are a very good team with a lot of speed and they've got a very good offensive scheme ... they've done a good job on everybody all year. I think they were averaging, going into last week's game against NC State, 50 points a game. It's important for our guys to understand who they play against. Not to make an excuse for themselves, that's a tough football team. We learned something from it. We did make a couple of plays. You understand how good you have to be."

Analysis: This is exactly the same quote just phrased differently. Just substitute Virginia Tech for Notre Dame. Is he reading this off note cards? My god does Spaz listen to himself talk, it's like a robot trained to say the same thing over and over and over again. He puts as much effort into his presser as he does his gameplan.

On Execution

Today: "All of that being said, the problems, we had a couple of chances to make plays and we didn't make it."

Against Florida State: "There is a lot of offense there ... we just didn't execute ... it wasn't like some things we didn't practice against and things they did differently. It was just a matter of us fundamentally not being able to stop them. There is a lot of offense; a lot of things coming at you over there and we didn't have as good of a recognition on some of it as we would have liked."

Analysis: Seemingly BC can never execute. Though I think we all knew that.

On the play of running back Rolandan Finch

Today: "I thought Deuce was doing what Deuce is supposed to do. He did a good job. We are very happy for him and for us. It's always good to have a running game."

Against Notre Dame: On the play of running back Deuce Finch "I saw the Deuce that I like to see."

Analysis: Spaz likes what he sees from Deuce. Got that?

Just think guys & gals, you might only have to read one more of these. Well maybe one more and then a presser when he is finally removed. Your brains will be that much happier when he is gone.