/cdn.vox-cdn.com/imported_assets/827402/cracky_tiger3_medium.jpg)
In order to make it through this Saturday's game between Boston College and Clemson, I have decided to create a drinking game. Let's be honest. Every game this season has made us all want to drink, so why not make it fun and relaxing?
Hopefully with the thorough level of inebriation you won't want to throw a candle through your flatscreen TV.
Anytime the announcers bring up Luke Kuechly's tackle total ... DRINK ONE
Luke Kuechly makes a tackle ... DRINK ONE
Mention of an injured Boston College player ... DRINK ONE
"Andre Williams runs straight ahead....but he is met by a wall of Clemson defenders...no gain" ... DRINK ONE
Reference to the loss of Montel Harris ... DRINK ONE
Blown assignment by the offensive line ... DRINK ONE
Chase Rettig overthrows or underthrows a wide open receiver ... DRINK ONE
Any time a Clemson offensive player burns a BC defender ... DRINK TWO
Chase Rettig is sacked ... DRINK TWO
TV cuts to Frank Spaziani who looks dejected ... DRINK TWO
Camera shows a hot scantily clad Clemson co-ed ... DRINK TWO
"And the Eagles are forced to punt" ... DRINK TWO
"Sammy Watkins is wide open! TOUCHDOWN!" ... DRINK THREE
"Andre Ellington only has one man to beat, TOUCHDOWN!" ... DRINK THREE
Clemson intercepts Chase Rettig, drink half a beer if the wide receiver could have prevented the INT if he ran the right route ... DRINK THREE
BC has a third and long ... DRINK THREE ... and runs a halfback draw ... DRINK ANOTHER ONE
The TV crew talks at length about anyone on the BC defense not named Luke Kuechly or Kevin Pierre-Louis ... DRINK THREE
BC is called for a stupid penalty ... DRINK THREE (double if it's a personal foul)
The announcers get a chuckle out of BC players names such as Spiffy Evans and/or Steele Divitto ... DRINK FOUR
Any mention to losses to Duke ... or Wake Forest ... or UCF ... or Northwestern ... DRINK FOUR
You hear the name "Kevin Rogers" or "Gary Tranquill" ... DRINK FOUR
TV graphic showing the offensive or defensive woes of the Eagles ... DRINK FOUR
BC scores a touchdown ... GUZZLE YOUR BEER
Dave Shinskie enters the game ... GUZZLE YOUR BEER
Any mention of the consecutive BC bowl streak ending this season ... again, GUZZLE
Frank Spaziani blames the players in the post game press conference ... GUZZLE YOUR BEER
Clemson gets a pick 6 on the opening series of the game ... GUZZLE JACK DANIELS
Clemson is up by more than 28 at the half ... MORE JACK DANIELS
BC puts up less than 10 points the entire game ... EVEN MORE JACK DANIELS
It is just getting so bad you can't watch it anymore and decide to watch another game ... (you guessed it) JACK
Boston College wins ... POP A BOTTLE OF MOET AND SCREAM "Like Kevin Garnett ... ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!"
Boston College loses by 60 and fire Frank Spaziani immediately following the game ... MOET*
* extra credit for BC students who mob Alumni Stadium to celebrate
Please drink responsibly.
Loading comments...