As many of you noted before, I have been critical of Frank Spaziani here on the blog. But for today, let's just have a little good natured fun on his behalf. Last year Spaz went on National radio and made a pretty witty remark about his signature mustache:
Radio Host: What was the thinking?
Spaziani: Budweiser was the thinking. I don't know. It was one of those things where you're shooting the breeze, everyone is looking at each other, and I said, I think I'll shave my mustache, just to start a conversation.
Radio Host: How long have you had it?
Spaz: I'll give you an idea without telling you how old I was: When I was in kindergarten the other kids laughed at it.
Radio Host: If you shaved it, it wouldn't take you long to grow it back?
Spaz: There's another one underneath.
After reading that I came up with a list of scenarios that if met, would mean that Spaz would have to shave the ole' tickler. Things such as beating FSU on National television, selling out all the BC home games, putting up a huge number against UMass, don't tinker with Kevin Roger's offense, and bringing in a stud recruit on offense. Safe to say, Spaz didn't mean any of those criteria. So in honor of this upcoming season I've created a new list for Spaz to meet:
- Win six games. Look, last year we wanted an Orange Bowl win, and had the schedule to do it. This year I just want to make A Bowl. Come on Spaz, I know you have it in you.
- Keep building on this recruiting class and keep the ones you have. Has BC knocked it out of the park in terms of recruiting? Not yet, but they still have some good pieces. What I don't want to see happen is Tim Boyle/Andrew Isaacs having fantastic senior seasons and deciding they want to play for Wisconsin or Ohio State. Close on them Spaz!
- Win a game at home that makes the students and fans lose their s***. You have plenty of them on the schedule: Virginia Tech, Clemson, Notre Dame, win any of those and you will have a much happier fan base.
- Please let Doug Martin do his thing. Let's see what he really can do, without your tinkering.
- Beat Maine mercilessly. Look, you beat UMass solidly, and that was nice, but it wasn't the epic beatdown we needed. But I want to see Maine go down by 40+. Put your foot on the gas pedal and never look back. Chase Rettig with 5 TD passes? Make it happen.
Those are just some ideas on how we can get Spaziani to be bald and beautiful. Personally I would love to see what Spaziani looks like without that 'stache. I bet he is a handsome devil. Can you think of any motivators that could get the Coach to lose the 70's stache?