How Could We Get Coach Frank Spaziani To Shave His Mustache?

Coach Spaziani was on a radio station recently and actually made some pretty funny comments about his mustache:

Radio Host: What was the thinking?

Spaziani: Budweiser was the thinking. I don't know. It was one of those things where you're shooting the breeze, everyone is looking at each other, and I said, I think I'll shave my mustache, just to start a conversation.

Radio Host: How long have you had it?

Spaz: I'll give you an idea without telling you how old I was: When I was in kindergarten the other kids laughed at it.

Radio Host: If you shaved it, it wouldn't take you long to grow it back?

Spaz: There's another one underneath.

Whoa. Who knew the Head Coach had such a great sense of humor? And why hasn't Spaz whipped this kind of personality out in his other dealings with the press? Maybe Spaz could laugh players into coming to BC, and not the usual "here is our offensive game plan from 2010" type laughs.

Spaz should shave his mustache, but only as a motivational tool to BC players and fans. What could be some landmark events that could happen which would lead to a Spaz shave-fest? Some obvious ones could be "Win the Atlantic Division", and "Fan base buys more than 2,000 tickets to the BC bowl game". Other ideas could be:

  • BC sells out all their home games, and not just "sell out" because we know what that means. Fans need to actually be in attendance for this to happen.
  • On Parents Weekend, BC puts up a huge number against UMass. I want to see Baldwin and those cheerleaders sweating and passing out from those pushups. UMass is trying to get inroads in Massachusetts, what better way to put them in their place then completely embarrassing them in an in-state game. Maybe set the number of points put up by the Eagles at 45?
  • How about this one. BC beats Florida State on National Television. After the Screaming Eagles marching band finishes the Alma Mater, the team marches Spaz to the 50 yard line, Luke Kuechly takes out an electric razor out and shaves Spaz's stache live on ESPN. Now that would reward fans who stayed late on a Thursday night.
  • Delegate all offensive play calling to Kevin Rogers. If BC can make it the entire season without giving up on their final possession of the half, hold a raffle and the winner can shave Spaz on NESN.
  • If Spaz can actually recruit a four or five star offensive skill player, and they last more than a season on the team, that player will be allowed to shave the coach.
  • Let's just throw this out there. BC wins the Orange Bowl. Forget about shaving Spaz's stache, I want Gene DeFilippo to grow one. Hell, I'll even provide the Just For Men so it can be a beautiful brown.

Those are just some ideas on how we can get Spaziani to be bald and beautiful. Personally I would love to see what Spaziani looks like without that 'stache. I bet he is a handsome devil. Can you think of any motivators that could get the Coach to lose the 70's stache?

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