Which Campus Spot You Choosing To Ride Out The Zombie Apocalypse?

via wikipedia

Assuming the world doesn't come to an end on Saturday, the Center for Disease Control would like you to be prepared for the coming zombie apocalypse. That's right. The z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. The CDC actually published a blog post outlining the steps one needs to take to prepare for the day of the dead, with helpful tips such as: 

"Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won't stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don't have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast."

So my question is if the zombie apocalypse happens tomorrow, which building on Boston College's campus are you making a run for?

Now anyone who has watched the first season of The Walking Dead, played the Resident Evil video game series or read The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead can tell you that not just any campus building will help you survive the zombie apocalypse. Which will now inevitably happen, because the CDC said so.

In order to successfully dodge these walkers, you are looking for a spot that has secure doors and windows, ample food rations and can provide a quick escape route if you are in a pinch.

The first place that comes to mind is Gasson Hall. Centrally located, tall spire to give you a bird's eye view in case of swarming zombies, quick escape route down Linden Lane to Comm. Ave. Only one problem -- no food. Unless you are going to tunnel your way from Gasson to the Rat to stay alive on a diet of breakfast burritos, Gasson probably isn't the best place to ride out Z-Day. 

What you would think would be suitable academic buildings on main campus all run into the same issue -- a lack of food. Merkert, Higgins, Devlin, Cushing, Campion ... all equally poor choices. Fulton Hall might be a better choice, but the BC Catering spread left out for one of the Big Four's career night would hold you over for only a few hours. 

You could take your chances with one of main campus's dining halls, but while there are plenty of food options with McElroy, Corcoran Commons (Corcoran? You mean Lower Campus Dining, right?), the Rat and Hillsides, all four buildings aren't that secure, so those are out, too.

Outside of the academic buildings, you might have some luck fortressing yourself in one of the dorms. Food options would be limited but you may be able to make due. My freshman year, I lived on Newton Campus so let's start there.

The limited food options with Duchesne and Hardy-Cushing immediately disqualify these two dorms. You wouldn't get to the Centre Street front gate on your way to Johnny's Luncheonette before getting dismembered by a few opportunistic walkers. 

Keyes provides easy access to Stuart and the Law School, so food isn't the issue. But Keyes, Stuart and the Law School do fall short on escapability. It's a long, long walk down Centre Street to the Mass Pike.

Back to main campus. The Mods? Who are we kidding. If drunken seniors can operate the Mod's sliding glass doors, any half-capable zombie could single-handedly infiltrate the Mods.

Upper Campus and College Road both get high marks in terms of security and quick escape routes, but food options are again limited. I suppose you could make O'Connell House a stache house for food rations and fortify the perimeter of Upper. That could work.

Voute, Gabelli and 66 Comm. Ave. are way too easily accessible from the street, so those buildings are out. And while you thought you were cool when you and your friends won the housing lottery and got an 8-man in St. Thomas More or Vanderslice, those two dorms aren't any better than the others (no kitchens). So you are still screwed. Finally, unless BC Dining recently stocked Walsh Hall for an upcoming, all-you-can-eat Channel Surfing event, there's no food to be had in Walsh, either.

Aside from dorms, there aren't many other spots on campus suitable for surviving the apocalypse. Bapst Library? Hell no. Not with all those stained glass windows. O'Neill? Maybe. An O'Neill-21 Campanella Way combo be pretty money, provided you could fortify O'Neill's first level and all the glass windows that face Campanella Way.

Alumni Stadium? The Plex? Nah. Conte Forum? Perhaps. You could ride out the zombie apocalypse snacking on personal pan pizzas, M&Ms and those weird pretzels coated in sesame seeds instead of salt.

I'm sure I'm missing somewhere or maybe I missed a new building on campus that meets the CDC's zombie-code. Your thoughts?

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