Dear Santa Claus,
We know that this year we haven't necessarily been the best fans, but Eagles' fans are hoping that deep in your milk and cookie filled heart you will find the kindness to come down our the chimney at the Yawkey Center this year. We have prepared a list for you, it's not an awful lot, but we are good ethical people, and you seem to really like to give gifts to those heathens down south. Seriously, do Alabama fans always have to get a Lexus?
We promise that we will leave you all the fried food from Late Night you could ever desire. Come on, they have the best mozzarella sticks in North America.
1) Luke Kuechly. If there is one thing on our list that we truly want it's this. Mr. McTacklesalot is the key to Boston College's defense, and if we find out that he is going to the NFL shortly after Christmas, Eagles' fans everywhere will be cursing your name. Can you live with that Santa Claus? Sorry, I probably shouldn't be threatening you.
2) Leave Dave Brock as Offensive Coordinator. Look I would put "Fire Frank Spaziani" on the top of my list, but you aren't a genie, you are just a fat man in a red suit so I didn't bother asking. So we have to play with the cards given. Brock isn't great, but he at least gives us consistency and that has to be near the top of Chase Rettig's Christmas List.
3) Please end the GDF "It's Not Spaziani's fault" Media Blitz. If you could find it in the kindness of your heart to have all of these propaganda pieces redirected to the North Pole so they can be used as toilet paper by Polar Bears that would be most grateful.
4) A Rejuvenated Montel Harris- I assume that you have some sort of magic in you that allows you to fly around the Earth with no ill effects to your morbidly obese body. Can you send some of medicine over to Montel Harris? Can we at least just get one more year out of Montel before his knees completely fall apart?
5) Sell Beer In Alumni Stadium. Oh right, you're Santa Claus and not a genie. I keep forgetting that.
6) A Forward Passing Game. You teased us with this gift last year, but the clock struck midnight for Chase Rettig in the fourth quarter of the Northwestern game. Momah went kaput, and BC only threw for 200 yards one more time during the season.
7) Use Chris Pantale. Please, he is a solid tight end. But you see our offensive coordinator seems to go weeks without remembering he even exists. This might have to do with our offensive line, but maybe if you could send Sean Devine off to the North Pole to make toys.
8) An Offseason Without Losing Quality Players.
Thank you Santa Claus. We love you.
BC Fans Everywhere.