An Eagles Festivus For The Rest Of Us

For those of you that used to watch Seinfeld, you'll remember that December 23 is Festivus. It's a Festivus for the rest of us. And for those that didn't, and have no idea what I'm talking about, learn more here.

While the Eagles winning five straight games after losing five straight was indeed a "Festivus miracle," it's time to gather round the Festivus pole. It's time for the Airing of Grievances.

"I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now, you're gonna hear about 'em ..."

 

First, Notre Dame. The Irish have bested Spaz and the Eagles two years running now, and that wouldn't be so bad if you were the dominant Notre Dame of old. But you're not. You are 13-11 in two seasons. While I'm sure Brian Kelly will return you to the glory days of Notre Dame football in short order, you stink right now. You lost to Tulsa ... AND were embarrassed by Navy. 

Gary Tranquill. The fan base has affectionately referred to you as Nyquill, because you've managed to lull us Superfans to sleep with your offensive playcalling all season. Last time I checked, it's still 1st and 10 or 2nd and long and you are calling for draw plays. When I think back on the season, I can count the best offensive plays of the year on one hand. Now was that due to player's execution, or playcalling? I'm going with more B) than A).

Maryland. You have the nerve to beat us at home, amass eight regular season wins including spoiling TOB's shot at the ACC Atlantic Division title ... and then go and fire your head coach of 10 seasons? Who do you think you are? A national college football power or something? Not only that, but you are poised to hire fan favorite Mike Leach, which will presumably shake up the Atlantic Division pecking order. It's bad enough BC is the younger brother in the Under Armour family in our own division, but you are seriously giving us an inferiority complex over here. Please cut it out.

The Big East. God, you guys are awful. You let an 8-4 team serve as the sacrificial BCS lamb for the conference, a team that got shut out by Louisville, lost to Temple by two touchdowns, and scored 10 points on a defense led by Greg Robinson. Even UConn's coach knows the grass is greener in the ACC. The two best programs in the conference -- Pittsburgh and West Virginia -- will have new coaches by the time TCU joins the conference and dominates in 2012.

BC football beat writers. Do you even like Boston College? How about just a little bit of love over here? Oh, and no, we are not scheduling UConn any time soon. Time to move on.

Tom O'Brien. Just kidding ... we're good, TOB.

 

And now, for the Feats of Strength!

Building on the great work by Gobbler Country (and thanks for the Festivus reminder! I almost forgot ...)

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